Free Will

Many believe that they have "free will". They claim it to be the capability to make a choice in a certain situation. A Bellato mercenary who joined my unit during the War of Color once told me that he was willing to die just to protect this freedom. I wondered at the worth of his promised sacrifice.

I believe that when one speaks of "free will", it is the capability to decide any course of action regardless of circumstance. When men are face down on the ground, bleeding to death, are they able to exercise their freedom and say, "I choose not to die," and ultimately survive? Whether or not fate would bring a savior to one's tribulations is something one cannot decide by himself. There is a greater being behind all circumstances, and consequently, behind all decisions. The Great Equation forges its trail throughout all existence with unrelenting certainty.

In my younger years, I thought the Great Equation was a farce; a lie brought about by the Scribes to force the Corite population into becoming a slave race for DECEM. What blasphemy, that thought was. As I became older, I began to realize that freedom was not really what it seemed to be. I look now at fate as a new reason to all my actions. The fact that each thing I do creates a chain of effects, leading to something excites me, and gives everything I do some meaning.

Then, perhaps, this affliction had been given to me for a reason. I pray that this is not just me, forcing my own logic onto myself to calm my anxiety.